So, with Wawa coffee🥤in hand, and Prizm football blasters all around me, let’s get to the real time business at hand.

Today we ride (Macy’s Parade style). Here’s this week’s Wide 9, the first ever Thanksgiving edition.

1. My earliest Thanksgiving memory! 💡🙂 🦃 Late 1970s, fifth grade, the day before Thanksgiving. I wake up to and inch of snow on the ground, the first such event of the season. With thoughts of the ultimate school recess game of snow football bouncing around in my dome (© Rome - “Thanks for the vine, Jim.”), I am legitimately PO’d when I remember that neither my brother or I will be going to school today. Instead, we will be riding in the back of the station wagon and traveling six-plus hours to our grandparents’ house in Wilmington, DE to spend Thanksgiving. (For the first two hours of the trip, Mom kept trying to lift our spirits by saying over and over the snow would melt way by lunchtime.) Three things from that Thanksgiving are embedded in my my mind. First, I don’t think my Dad, my PopPop, or my uncle stepped foot in the kitchen even once during the festivity preparations. It was strictly my Mom, my Nanny, and my aunt. Males were not expected until it was time to carve the bird. And then PopPop went into the dining room and retrieved the carving set (which was housed in a total bad-ass green leather carrying case) and sauntered into the kitchen to work his magic. (And, yes, that carving set now resides in my dining room. Only brought out on Thanksgiving.) 2️⃣ My second memory is that many hours before PopPop carved the turkey, in the pre-dawn hours of Thanksgiving, I woke up and helped Nanny get the bird in the oven. It wasn’t until 40-plus years later that I asked my Mom why Nanny did that. Why the bird cooked for approximately six hours. And how we all ate it with no qualms whatsoever. Her answer was basic. Because that’s how turkeys were cooked back then. And homemade gravy made EVERYTHING taste good. My final memory was at some point during the holiday we were cruising around in the station wagon (no doubt going to Sears or Happy Harry’s, probably both). The Sixers game was on the radio and the announcer mentioned there was a rumor that free agent Pete Rose was in the house. The Phillies were long considered the favorites (due to Charlie Hustle’s BFF status with Schmitty, as well as the Reds being too cheap to pony up the necessary coin to retain The King 👑), but things appeared to be veering off course. Sears be damned, we pleaded with my Dad to keep on driving until it was official and Rose was ours. (He did, of course, sign with us, but not until a week later.)

2. High School Football! I went 2-1-1 during my four year varsity career. Most importantly, we crushed it senior year, 22-zip nil. Raiders, forever. Hell, Galvagna forever.

3. Friends Thanksgiving Episodes! The flashback to the ‘80s when Ross and Chandler were in college and home for Thanksgiving is clutch. And the one where they play the football game in the park to battle for the Geller Cup is absolute gold. Cheater. Cheater. Compulsive eater.

4. Saturday Christmas Trees x 4! My rule on The Tree was steadfast. We always bought it the first Saturday of December. Twenty plus years. Then the pandemic hit. When we went that first Saturday of December, the selection was awful. Last year, we pivoted (a term that was hatched during the pandemic) and went to the local Lions Club on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. We had our pick of prime talent and came home with, wait for it, four Christmas trees. Four. One for the family room, a kickass eight footer for the kitchen (looming in the corner by the dinner table), a smaller one for the living room (where the fireplace is), and a Charlie Brown tree for the front yard.

5. The Menu! When the smoker was operational, I banged out three turkeys on Thanksgiving. This will be the third year in a row we are “only” doing two. One in the oven and a second one on the grill. This year we went for the gold 🥇 and got a 27-pound bird for the oven. Not sure if it will even fit in the pan. But as Benedict Slade said, “If it doesn’t fit, cook it twice.” Grilled corn, cornbread and sausage stuffing, homemade apple sauce, mac and cheese, mashed potatoes, grilled Italian bread, and gravy will crowd the table. Veteran move ➡️ Dig a hole in the potatoes, fill with corn, then flood with gravy. You’re welcome. As for the apps? Five pounds of sliced kielbasa, to go with cheese and crackers. Used to also have mini meatballs and fresh shrimp. But that led to being stuffed before the turkey was even out of the oven/off the grill/out of the smoker. Now we pace ourselves. Dessert is, obviously, apple crisp and trifle.

6. Football! I can remember the Eagles playing twice on Thanksgiving. In the final year of the Chip Kelly era, the Lions curb-stomped us. I also remember a year when Mark Sanchez carved up the Dallas Cowboys in a most enjoyable blowout win. This year the three games look great. Bills-Lions, Giants-Cowboys, and Pats-Vikings.

7. Black Friday! I did it once. Over 30 years ago I got up in the pre-dawn hours and made a run (MCM!) to Lechmere for a video camera to give to my parents. Don’t think they ever used it even once.

8. The Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade! It’s cheesy, yes. And it’s more commercialized than ever. But I still make a point to watch the ribbon cutting as well Santa’s arrival at the end. Tradition, my friends. Tradition.

9. Thanksgiving Dinner Invites! (Seating is limited to just five.)

1. Steve Sands - He’s the cool guy who’s also incredibly nice. You want to be him. You want your daughter to marry him. La Cheeserie!

2. Jay Wright - See Steve Sands.

3. Tony Bruno - What up, Bruno?!? (© Jose From Norristown) Beautiful, man.

4. Felger - Ainge, what are you doing?!?

5. JG - A pilgrim’s gotta eat, right?

Until next time (Christmas Eve🎄?), thanks for reading. And Happy Thanksgiving. 🦃

Late.

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• I mulched the front bed.

• I dropped another podcast. 🎧

• It was really hot. 🌶

• I was lazy.

• I had my Dad over for dinner. 💛

• I did a lot of laundry. (Then again, I always do.)

• I have a two kids, a dog 🐾, and a wife.

Anyway, with Wawa coffee🥤in hand, let’s get to the real time business at hand.

Today we ride. Here’s this week’s Wide 9.

1. July 4th! 🌭, 🧨, ☀️, 🍦,😎 With the deck newly stained, my family and I will be dining al fresco. The grill will produce hotdogs, burgers 🍔, pork country ribs, and boneless chicken thighs. For dessert my son is making apple crisp. At some point we will watch the hotdog eating contest (which we’ll tape DVR), as well as the Phillies game. We might even watch a movie together as a family. (Cut to the Huxtable family sitting on the couch watching TV.) My vote will be for the original Top Gun ✈️,👖,🕶,🏐. Your friend was magnificent.

2. Darick Hall! Who? Darick Freaking Hall! Three days ago, I’d never heard of him. Now he starts for the Phillies and has three hits in 12 at bats, all bombs. 💣💥 By comparison, Super Stiff Mickey Moniak (the top pick in the entire 2016 draft) has played in 42 games with the Phillies over three seasons and has … wait for it … two home runs. Yes, two.

3. Shrimp boil! I dare say I’m the best Dad Chef in the whole damn town. Everyone know who we are. Yet, I’m probably the second best cook in the house. #️⃣ 2️⃣ My daughter, one year out of college, holds the crown 👑. Mainly because she is always looking for new recipes and she never cuts a corner for the sake of fewer calories or carbs, unlike her Old Man. Her PopPop came over for dinner last week. I grilled the swordfish and she made the shrimp boil. While it’s hardly complicated, it took over and hour to whip up and get in the oven, complete with some mixture of olive oil and spice concoction. (Where as I would have simply dressed it in fat-free Italian dressing.) The taste was insanely delicious. And it was one of those precious dishes that actually tasted better the next day after the different flavors have a chance to meld (© Robert Flay). Behold!

4. Hey, texASS! I see your Arch Manning and raise you a Chrissy Simms! We all remember when NFL Announcing Reject Phil Simms dropped off his freshman son, Chrissy, on the texASS campus in a limo as the top rated recruit in the land. Four years later he left with four consecutive losses in the Red River Rivalry Shootout. He threw barely 500 career passes in the NFL. His only post-HS play of note is this one. The clip never gets old! Boomer!

Williams got ‘im on the blitz! Lehman with the pick! OU is gonna win it again!

5. That clip is yet another reminder that Brent Musburger is the greatest Big Game announcer of all time! The hyperbolic voice inflections, the not-so-subtle gambling references as far back as 30 years ago, the constant longing for a postgame brew, and the ever wandering eye in search of female talent in the stands. He was, and is, hands down The Best.

6. Peloton Man Update! I hit the 100th ride last Friday. The Free SWAG Commemorative Tee Shirt is on the way! 🚴 💨 🏆 #️⃣ 1️⃣ 0️⃣ 0️⃣

7. This is effing awesome! A Good Friend, 1.0 sent me a screenshot from someone named JT Jakubik, who sent out a classic post on social media. How GREAT is this?!? (© Jim Rome)

8. 90210, where the Little League coaches were full uniforms, including cleats! My son and I finished season one last week. The next to last episode, “Spring Training”, was a Damn All Timer! Hall of Fame Dad Jim Walsh is coaching a local entry in the 90210 Little League. Alas, Coach Walsh hurts his back hitting fungoes. Luckily Brandon and Steve Sanders are ready and able to fill in for him. Where to begin? Steve and Brandon coach in full uniforms. And when Jim Walsh makes his triumphant return, he, too, is decked out in full uni, including Nike cleats. He also sports the Urban Meyer whistle around his neck. Though given that this was shot in 1990, it was clearly Urban who learned about the nifty whistle from Jim Walsh. I can only wonder if they gave more than an episode to Jim’s Little League coaching career if he would have eventually had Urban-like debilitating headaches that only pop up after losses.

Also, apparently in the Beverly Hills LL, players can get traded. So when bird dog Sanders quickly realizes they have a terrible player on the team, he goes to the president of the league, who also happens to be the parent of their best pitcher. Two mins later Steve gleefully tells Brandon that the kid will be traded by the end of the week. 

Also, apparently in scrimmages in the 90210 you let your best pitcher go the distance. In the rematch against Nat’s overmatched team of down and out misfits, Brandon and Steve let their ace, the son of the league president, go all six innings. Nat counters by letting the female ringer brought in by Andrea Zuckerman also go the distance. She is the best player on the field. She hits a dinger to lead off the game and allows just two runs over six innings. Predictably, Nat’s team shocks the world in the bottom of the sixth when his worst player hits a fly to RF where the soon to be traded terrible kid has been placed in the game by Jim Walsh. The kid, of course, falls down, allowing two runs to score and Nat’s team to enjoy a sweet walk off. The second the game ends, the league president, the father of Jim Walsh’s best pitcher, storms out of the bleachers and yells at Jim, telling him they would have won the game if Jim hadn’t put the bad kid in the game in the bottom of the sixth. 

The scrimmage ends with the soon to be traded kid becoming ecstatic when his missing dog runs onto the field and right over to him after he fell down and cost his team the game. Of course, it was the same dog that Brenda found a week ago and was hoping to keep for herself. Until she lost him.

90210. Pure Gold. Absolute Gold. ⭐️

9. Ewing BBQ Invites! (Seating is limited to just five.)

1. Steve Sands - He’s the cool guy who’s also incredibly nice. You want to be him. You want your daughter to marry him. La Cheeserie!

2. Jay Wright - See Steve Sands.

3. Afton Cooper - Yes, TV characters can score invites.

4. Urko - Yes, talking gorillas (“Guns!” 🔫) can score invites. Nothing is forbidden when your ride for Urko!

5. Dubya Bush - Gawd, I love that man. 🛢 🇺🇸 ⚾️ 🎙

💥9A Bonus!💥 I still hold out hopes for a miracle ➡️ Tony Bruno and Harry Mayes back together over the airways or streaming on podcasts. Hell, I’d pay $40 a month to listen to them three times a week. What up, Bruno?!? (© Jose from Norristown)

Until next week, errrrrrrrrrr, Friday. Thanks for reading. This is The Wide 9 and as a kid I spent summers riding my bike, flipping (literally) baseball cards, playing whiffle ball (“If it hits the basketball pole, it’s an automatic out!”) and Kick the Can (but only after dinner, for some reason). Late.

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The funny thing was the newsletter turned into something pretty good. ESPN guys returned my calls. I’d talk to Chris Fowler every other week. Dick Vitale called me from his car not once but twice in one afternoon and left messages. It was Thanksgiving weekend and I’d been married for two weeks. We had a huge kegger with close to 100 people. It was billed as a Tailgating Party, basically a second wedding reception. Jaws dropped, literally, when people in the kitchen (as opposed to the 60+ who were outside) listened as Vitale rambled on into the answering machine.

When our daughter popped into the world, time became precious, if not all together fleeting, and the newsletter became a casualty of being a Dad. Eventually, of course, I turned to blogging. When my son came along, the blog became a way for me to pimp his athletic accomplishments. From kindergarten through fourth grade he was the top athlete in the town. He dominated the hoops circuit as well as the flag football league, while also being good on the diamond. Eventually, and quite predictably, the blog, too, fell by the wayside. (Though it should be duly noted that my son and I both go back to it several times a year to relive the athletic glory days.)

And now that you’ve indulged me by allowing me to take a stroll down Amnesia Lane (copyright, Mr. Keating, Dead Poets Society - “Why the captain himself, of course.”), let me get back to the real time business at hand.

The goal is to get this newsletter published, errrrrrr (copyright, Jim Rome), to drop every Friday morning this summer. It will be nine things on my mind. Food. Television. Sports. My dog. My kids. Summer. My Chateau. My Deck. Sports cards. BBQ. Coffee.🥤What I’m reading. Literally anything. But it will be a quick read - under 10 minutes. I think you’ll laugh some, nod a little, as well as scratch your head.

Today we ride. Here’s this week’s Wide 9.

1. Father’s Day - In a tradition that started two years ago during the pandemic, my Dad came over and my daughter cooked breakfast for all of us. Once that obligation was willingly taken care of, it was time to make it about me. I had taped the Father’s Day Itinerary on both sides of the kitchen doorway (as in, no excuses for not seeing it). It was a simple list. 1. Breakfast with PopPop. 2. Watch a movie of my choice (TBA). 3. Make a Father’s Day Dinner (their choice). 4. Take the dog for a family walk after dinner. The movie 🍿, selected weeks ago, was “Can’t Buy Me Love”, which came out in 1987. Pretty sure it was Patrick Dempsey‘s first gig, but it was Cindy Mancini (played by Amanda Peterson) who owned the screen. I probably saw it 10 times by the time I graduated college, but hadn’t seen it in over 30 years. My daughter liked it. My son, not a movie buff at all, said it was pretty good. I, of course, completely (((LOVED))) it. ❤️ As a bonus, we decided to watch another movie. I gave my daughter the choice of “Enemy of the State” or “The Firm”. She chose the former. Will Smith and Gene Hackman. Dynamic Duo, indeed.

2. The Weight - Winter weight … Summer weight. From late February through the end of May, I lost 25 pounds. (Now, I’m just maintaining.) The key was a Peloton Bike purchase in mid March. My daughter’s friend gave me a $300 coupon, which was the incentive I needed to click buy. The learning curve was definite, and to this day I keep the shoes clicked into the pedals, as I’ve never been able to get them in and out on my own. I started with 30 minute workouts, before moving up to 45 minute ones every morning, and I do two-a-days on weekends. Taking a cue from SVP (“Bald Man on Campus!), my workout guru is Alex Toussaint.

3. Diet Coke - As a young adult, I shotgunned it by the gallon. Then about 10 years ago a student of mine was having bad headaches and was told to switch from soda to seltzer water. She hated it. I told her if she made the switch, so would I. We kept track of my number of days on the board. Eventually I made it to 100. I later switched to plain water. Now I drink Diet Coke during Christmas vacation, then switch back to water until the first day of summer vacation. I enjoy Diet Coke all summer and give it up Labor Day weekend. Now you know.

4. Top Gun: Maverick - Pretty good flick. Far from great. The original is in my Top 5 All Time, so the sequel was never going to reach those heights. Somehow Maverick morphs into Rambo (“Talk to me, Johnny.”) when his jet crashes in the snow. The cheesiness of Pete Mitchell reaches new heights in the sequel when he goes from playing volleyball in jeans (the original) to playing football in the water while wearing, wait for it, jeans. BTW, it was my first time in a movie theater since Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Truth.

5. Rerun from 45 years ago I’m now watching! - Dallas. J.R. Jock. Golden Boy, Bobby. Ray Krebbs, male slut. It’s pure gold. I’m through the first four episodes. It’s my late night viewing vice when everyone else has gone to bed and it’s just the dog and me (good grammar matters, kids).

6. Next week’s projects - Mulch the front bed and one tree, clean the grill, stain the deck.

7. Prizm Football! - I bought three blasters on eBay for $52 a pop. Remember, it’s 2021 (the Mac Jones class). I’ll bust two soon and keep one to usher in the NFL season in September.

8. Tradition Never Dies - In the next few days, my son and I will watch “CaddyShack” (while eating cheesesteaks) and “Meet the Parents”, our summer tradition for probably the last 11 years. You a pothead, Focker?

9. What I’m reading - The Inside Story of Tom Brady’s Fight for Redemption. It’s got some interesting tidbits on how Roger Goodell was intent on coming down hard on Brady and the Patriots. However, the book is marginalized by the fact it’s written by two Boston journalists who come off as complete fanboys.

9A Bonus! - My son and I are currently working our way through season four of The Office. Michael has dumped Jan and had several unsuccessful dates, Toby is getting ready to leave for Costa Rica, and Dwight is, well, Dwight.

Until next week. Thanks for reading. Late.

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